Happened upon this topic at a potluck on Sunday and got kinda mired in it.

I've been saying for a long time, "abolish the current system completely, and use all the funds for anti-poverty measures - this will help more children."

Partly I was saying that as a way to express my belief in the total failure of the current system to keep kids safer than they otherwise would be. And partly, it would clearly have lots more positive effects on society and less awful power-dynamic racist classist crap which the current system is rife with.

I have a survey up at surveymonkey.com with over 60 responses from people involved in foster systems (primarily current and former foster parents) across the country, evaluating the strengths and weaknesses, failures and successes, of the systems they've interacted with. Responses are all over the board. It's hard to summarize statistically cuz I'm not a researcher, but there's a pretty strong scatter pattern in terms of how much people think the system helps or hurts children and families. Meaning not more than 50% think it helps, even a little, but not more than 50% think it hurts even a little either. That's an oversimplification but I'd have to pay a monthly fee to tabulate and download the results.

I also have two good friends who were abused as children and were not helped by the system, and who feel scarred by it as adults. One has been dealing with it for a long time in therapy, the other only recently. I emailed with the first, "K", about this topic recently, and here is a little of what she had to say...

Systematic reform:
I, of course, agree with systematic reform.  If ALL families had a living wage, quality health care and mental health care, state of the art intervention for substance abuse, a school and community center system that created networks of support then abuse would decrease.  If people saw an abuse/neglect intervention system that worked (I have no idea what that would be) they would be more likely to report when abuse did occur.  I think Hilary Clinton was not off base with her "it takes a village".  If entire communities saw the children of the community as "their's" instead of the child as just the property of the parents then abuse would decrease.  I also think abuse/neglect intervention system and the foster care system are very, very broken.  [name] worked for the system in [state] as a social worker and found it to be a system that was doing its best but inherently lost children "in the cracks", she also found that social workers were damned if you do and damned if you don't.  A lot of the system is guess work and that can never work well.  I don't know what the answers are but I know what we have now doesn't work.

K is also a teacher and has been in the position of having to report students' families to social services. She also tries to build relationships with the families and provide support to them.


Another friend I've been emailing with about it says that of course statistically more children would be helped by reducing poverty, but those who aren't can't be ignored. I agree, yet I genuinely don't think there's a way to help. I realize that's not "ok," I just think it's true. This same friend mentioned that people choose larger cities to live in rather than small towns often because they don't want everyone up in their business. Also, that some communities accept parental actions that other communities reject.

So if you have an impersonal, institutional child welfare system then you have one set of huge insurmountable problems, and if you rely on community members to take care of each other then you have another.

Today I was catching up on Strollerderby posts by the two authors I read there, and came across this:

Economy Tanks; Child Abuse Rises

So I will stand by my original position. I will amend it to point out that mental health treatment access is a huge important factor as well.
I acknowledge that I do not have the answer that will help every child, and no I am not "ok" with some children getting hurt, but I do think it's worthwhile to reduce the numbers and I do think I have a real answer to that.

Unfortunately, I realize these are entirely academic arguments and the child welfare system as it currently exists is not about to disappear. Too many people who know virtually nothing about how it really functions are on power-trips or do-gooder-trips of denial.

Argh.

It has been at least a month since Greg lent me a magazine with a recipe in it for butternut squash soup. He'd made a variation on it for potluck. I have been trying to assemble appropriate ingredients, and find time to cook a new food (longer cuz I won't be as efficient as stuff I'm used to, and I have no idea how long it'll take). I finally thought I had it all together yesterday morning. And then... There just is no off-the-shelf chicken broth available that doesn't have *something* we can't eat. I had purchased some at Hannafords when I was apparently too dazed and rushed, and missed the "chicken flavor" and "flavor" on the label ("flavor" can be anything, and Zach has allergens that don't fall under the FDA labelling law, so we have to avoid this). Also missed the "fat free" and the fact that there's 1 g of protein per cup as opposed to the I-forget-how-much-but-much-more that I was expecting after having looked it up on Nutritionadata.com a few weeks ago. BLEARGH!

This, after having looked at all the other broths in can or box, organic and non, at both Hannafords and the Coop. There were THREE trips made over the past couple weeks with chicken broth as at least one of the primary goals, and none were successful.

Meanwhile, I did once make chicken broth from scratch. For the cats. Back when we lived in Brooklyn. With a recipe out of The New Natural Cat.
I remember it being annoying and taking forever, but I also remember that she had you really concentrate it. That's about all I remember.

I have been saving the bones from the legs & thighs we've been eating. Some of them, at least. But I know nothing about what to do with them, or even if it's ok to use them once they're cooked. I'm kinda intimidated by researching broth recipes, but I guess I better. I don't want to have to go buy backs and necks and do some complicated thing that would require the kitchen to be usably clean (I'm used to using it when it's not). This is why I was really willing to go for the boxed stuff at least this time.

URGH.

(Oh...um... this stuff we have... I opened the seal before taking a 2nd look at the box... It's about the size of a box of soy milk... anyone want it?)

P.S.: Humidifiers really ought to be labelled as single-season disposable products, or made differently. We have a rather large collection, none of which work. This is also a source of annoyance today.

Not perfectly written, and a little long, but gets at some of the important issues I have with the Prop 8 thing:
http://www.pubrecord.org/commentary/515-beyond-black-vs-gay-a-wake-up-call-to-gay-marriage-activists-in-california.html

Thank you, US Rep Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), for not getting caught up in all the hype blowing the marriage issue out of proportion, and instead keeping a good perspective on legislation and issues that matter as much or more.

Rare that the Advocate publishes something I find useful, but here it is.

http://babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/11/07/arkansas-adoption-ban-passes-fails-to-eliminate-queers-and-their-spawn-from-the-earth.aspx

You can click on her tag "Shannon LC Cate" at the bottom of theh post and see everything she's written at Strollerderby, I think.

Today I nudged my 3 favorite Writers With A Clue to say something about the crap floating around the internet in the form of reactions to CA passing Prop 8.

Shannon at Peter's Cross Station got there first.

GO READ IT, PLEASE!

Still would love to hear from miriamjoyce and Arlene.

I'd made a little sign for Zach's stroller that said "Vote Today!" with the Os colored in blue, so I could feel useful while walking him around the neighborhood peeking at construction vehicles in the morning. Someone said hi to us while we stood at our closest large intersection. But my favorite moment of the whole day was from around this time of day, when our family walked together up to our polling place. A black woman saw our sign and stuck her arm/fist out her car window as she drove by, yelling "Yeah VOTE!" with awesome intensity.

(Zach started insisting shortly before we left that he was voting for Popop for president. He still says so every time, but he also gives a little sly grin. It did cause me to call my dad on the way to the polls, and it was nice to have a quick convo about the election with him.)

The South Asian-appearing poll worker who was there to give instructions after we'd signed in was barely containing his bubbling enthusiasm as he showed us the ballot and made sure we knew how to read it and use the machines.

Around 5:00, after we'd voted but before Zach went to bed, I started feeling weird. There was nothing to DO. I'd spent all day on Monday and the first half of Tuesday feeling like I wanted to DO something (ok, I've spent the past few months feeling like I wanted to DO something, and the most I did was two batches of phone calls for move-on and the Obama campaign on Saturday and Monday). All of a sudden, that sense of anticipation was changing to just wait-and-see.

Last night a bunch of friends came over after dinner (yay!) and once results started actually coming in we worked hard to limit ourselves to every-15-minutes checking of the results on Karin's laptop.

Early on, PA came in strong for Obama, and none of us could quite believe that that was it. It would've been really hard for McCain to win at that point, and then it just kept coming. Painfully slowly at first, but there were no bad surprises.

We found out the West Coast votes were in and the election was over when my mom called. The phone rang, and everyone dove for the computer. Mom was obviously at a party and we couldn't hear each other much, but it was a fun way to get the news. That moment of the phone ringing and everyone realizing at once what it must mean was my other favorite one of the day.

I called oppendonnell and she said the streets outside her house were like New Year's Eve. I was jealous - I and a few others here were missing that sense of being in a crowd rejoicing. My sister called this morning while I was wallowing in the odd anti-climactic-ness of it all, and the isolation of being in a quiet city and home with a kid. It was good to hear from her.

Obama's acceptance speech was not one of his inspirational and surprisingly progressive ones. I suppose it makes sense, but it was disappointing. I loved that there was call-and-response! And I know he (his speech writers) did a great job with an appropriate speech for the moment. It just wasn't what I wanted emotionally. I did get teary a tiny bit when he mentioned the new First Lady.

As I said to my sister today: There are going to be cornrows in the White House.

This morning I couldn't bring myself to make oatmeal (boring) or even pancakes (2ice already this week, and the kitchen's a mess), I just wanted to go out to breakfast. That the restaurant I wanted to go to closed over a year ago was irrelevant, since it's not like I can eat a big plate of eggs and a buttered bagel. We did go out for sushi, though. Our first restaurant trip with the boy. He ate some plain rice, a tiny bit of wasabi (Mr. medium-salsa-by-the-spoonful thought it was a little too spicy), and some cucumber bits fed by chop-sticks. An elderly Japanese man came over and said, "Hi little Obama!" in a friendly and excited way.

It sort of seems like nothing's changing. Self-correcting, self-perpetuating system where individuals can gain or lose power or wealth but equality and justice do not win out overall. Obama's just another one of Them, on many levels. Or at least he probably is. It does remain to be seen, but I'm not holding my breath.
On the other hand, something has changed. The U.S. elected a black man to be president. The left/democrats/progressives won a presidential election despite whatever attempts the right/repubs made to steal it.

There's a giddiness buzzing under the surface out there. I now want to Do Something again. I want to harness this energy.

I hope he hits the ground running. I hope he proves me wrong that his actions won't lead to any real change (universal health care would do it!).

And... Why the heck is W still president at this very moment? I think I might now finally have to get one of those 1.20.09 bumperstickers. Can't wait!!!

Too bad January tends to be cold in Albany. We need a big ol' block party, dancing in the streets.

Z is a backhoe (slightly sagging in the back) and Karin is a steamroller (bottom of front rolly part not fully painted).

Zach LOVED trick-r-treating. Totally unexpected and totally fun.

I'm too lazy & tired to do anything besides copy n paste this pic that K already uploaded to facebook. sorry.

http://mobimotherhood.org/MM/portal-Aboutus.aspx

It's support & information for moms who are having extreme problems with breastfeeding.

Spread the word - more people need this resource!